WARNING, this blog contains explicit language

Sometimes I impress myself. Dinner tonight was beyond faboo. But first, a little story…
I was on the phone with my BFF Kaye (a trained chef) while I was making dinner. I kept tasting the sauces I was making to accompany my coconut shrimp and she was in hysterics listening to my running commentary of what I was doing and how awesome it was. I don’t know about you, but when I’m in the zone, whether it be cooking, playing a sport or even playing Candy Crush, I get über in to it and apparently I don’t stop taking smack, even if it is only to myself. Some if the things that came out of my mouth while cooking were…
What the f*ck is that supposed to be? That’s not right.
Oh deuce bombs! That’s the tits!!
F*ck balls, I’m amazing.
This is so good I want to drink it. No, I want to take a bath in it. I don’t care if its sticky.
Bitches be nothing but hoes and tricks and this sauce is amazeballs.
Obviously, there’s something wrong with me. I apologize if this offends anyone, but not really.
At least I entertained Kaye for 20 minutes. And have no idea what amounts I put in those sauces, but one was piña colada and the other was mango. Both were the tits.
End result…

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I really need new plates. Apparently mine are all chipped.

Girl Code starts on MTV tonight. I love trying out new trashy tv shows. I need to DVR it though. I’m exhausted. Talking smack wears me out. So does driving all day. I went to Stowe to check out some work done on one of my listings and found this…

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Yup, that deer head is smirking. I almost took it. Almost.

Mambo (Mango / Gumbo) Get it?

Mangos are hard to find in Vermont.  Especially Red Mangos.  So when I saw them on display in Hannaford today, I almost cried!!  I grabbed 2.  In hindsight, I should have gotten like 6, seeing as how I ate one whole one as soon as I got home.  My precious…

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Just looking at the picture makes me want to go eat the other one right now.  Good thing I’m going to be out near that Hannaford tomorrow morning.  Oh yeah.  Don’t tell me if there’s something wrong with my mangos.  I don’t wanna know.

I made gumbo for dinner for me and hot dogs again for Little Dude.  Except he did eat the andouille sausage out of my gumbo.  At least he left me the shrimps.  The sausage was extra spicy this batch!  And he gave me a piece of bacon.  Isn’t he sweet?

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After dinner, homework and all that jazz Dude wanted to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid again.  Although they are funny, once is enough.  So I retreated to my office and watched some The Only Way is Essex.  If you like trashy TV like I do, you will love this one.  It’s the British version of Housewives + Snooki & Jwoww + I don’t know what.  Anyway, then I got a hankering for a milkshake.  Then my mind ran away with me.  I wanted a McDonalds Shamrock Shake.  But that’s gross.  I don’t do Golden Arches anymore.  Googled Paleo Shamrock Shake.  Yes I did.  Found and made this one.

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Dude tried it.  Said not bad.  Then he read the recipe that I left on the counter.  He grabbed his throat and claimed I tried to kill him by letting him eat avocado.  He doesn’t like avocado.  Mom Fail.  Note to self.  Hide the recipe.

Sweatpants Sunday

I freaking hate the time change.  I think it should be outlawed.  I woke up at 8, but it was really 9 and then I was late.  I hate being late.  My Mom was coming to take Little Dude snowboarding and Dad was gonna hang out with me today.  Everything ended up fine and all on time, but man.  I hate that immediate feeling of doom because you’re late.

I think I ate half of this loaf of Paleo Banana Bread today.  I put in several handfuls of walnuts and some deep dark chocolate chips.  It was AMAZEBALLS!  And maybe I had a couple extra shots of espresso.  It was a good day.

Dad and I hung out, talked and watched some Archer and The Americans.  Both are stellar shows.  When he took a nap I made the Gumbo with 2 lbs of shrimp, andouille sausage and sweet Italian sausage, extra veggies, spinach, and the Cauliflower rice.  I also made a side of Paleo Garlic Bread.  I don’t know what I did wrong, but the consistency was all wrong and it was more like drop biscuits.  No worries, they were still delish.  I think I’m gonna try to make a pizza dough out of it this week sometime.  Maybe fill it like a calzone?

Oh, and since the creme brûlée wasn’t ready last night, I served it up tonight after the Gumbo.  I can’t post a recipe, cause I kinda mixed a couple different ones together, but it was solo good.  Actually, I’ll try to recreate the recipe this week sometime.  My bro and his GF are coming to visit.  If I nail it, I’ll post it.  Anyway, it was awesome.

Sugar and spice (not refined sugar you ninny, who do you think I am?)

I actually woke up before 7 on purpose today! I had to go bust down a door before a meeting at 9:30 and take some pics of my newest upcoming listing. Guess what?! It has orange shag carpeting and blue toilets. I’m psyched!!

After I got home and uploaded my photos and did some work, I Googled “Paleo sausage shrimp”, cause that’s what I need to use for dinner and I came across this Gumbo recipe on PaleoOMG and I was like OMG! 😉

And then seriously like 2 minutes later I got an email from nom nom paleo that there was a new blog up, so of course I read it and there was another mention of these Mexican Chocolate Pots de Creme, so of course I read that too. And so it was decided it was Sugar and Spice night.

I didn’t have all the ingredients for the gumbo, so I improvised, but im pleased to report that it was surprisingly easy. More so than the curry I think. And I made the dessert during the simmer times of the dinner. Oh, the gumbo called for a cup and a half of shrimps… I used a 2 lb bag of prawns. I also used that chicken sausage from Costco instead of Andouille and 1/2 lb Mckenzie Ground Sausage instead of the shredded pork. My cauliflower had turned so I skipped that. Put it in the crockpot to keep warm till dinner and went to pick up Little Dude and a friend to go to Petra Cliffs. When we got back the house smelled so amazingly rich with spices I couldn’t wait to dig in!

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Hindsight, I should have added spinach or kale for more volume. No matter, it kicked A$$!! I ate 2 bowls. The only reason I didn’t have a 3rd was dessert.

A note about the dessert, don’t leave it unattended. Mine may have boiled for a minute but it still came out wonderful. I didn’t use her whipped cream recipe though because I just got this iSi whip thing and had a can of coconut milk and a tablespoon of vanilla already chillin, so I gave that a whirl. Holy whipped coconut Batman! I’m in love. It was like a spicy chocolate mousse. I’ll be honest, when I spilled a little during the pour, I totally licked the counter.

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